Its about making memories worth repressing
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
