You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
