You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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