she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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