He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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