new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
