I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
