i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
