True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
