This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
