dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
