What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
