So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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