you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
