R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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