my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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