shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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