Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
