when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
