I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
