Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
