i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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