So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
