South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
