weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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