No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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