Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
