Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
