Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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