hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
