Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
