Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
