in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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