Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
