so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
