i permit you to call me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
