Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
