i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
