thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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