I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
