No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
