I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
