Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
