Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
