I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Soap is not a condiment
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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