Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
