and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
