Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
