Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How does one acquire holy water?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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