I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
